In recent times, when I see other children in the park or at my child’s play school franchise, I think to myself how lucky I am to have such a well-behaved child. However, not long ago, there was a time when I used to ask myself every single day – “Why do toddlers have to be so annoying?”
Before I was blessed with my son, my family and friends often told me that motherhood is filled with a lot of happy moments. They were right (for the most part). However, they would’ve done me a huge favor by telling me, the number of high-pitched complaints and tantrums that typically followed those happy moments.
Just last year, I had reached a point where I wasn’t able to bear my son’s bad behavior anymore. I wanted help and like a blessing, I found a preschool development program by QualityKG preschool accreditation, the program discussed few nifty methods of behavioral improvement. The determined woman in me woke up, and after taking some inspiration from the QualityKG preschool development program, I came up with my own five-day guide. I was quite proud of how efficient it was (still is). So, I thought that I have to share this with all the other working mothers who had their share of tantrums and stressful times. It’s time to turn the tables. You can count on me and the good people at QualityKG preschool accreditation to get you through the “I hate mommy phase.”
Day 1: Do not react
According to child psychologists, “Most parents make a common mistake, they react to negative behavior.” I know what you are thinking, easier said than done, right? I couldn’t agree more, the mere thought of not responding to negative behavior scared me too, but hey, I wanted to give it a go (desperate times call for desperate measures!).
On our trip to the grocery store, I strictly told my son that if there is any bickering or whining, I’m going to pretend I can’t see or hear him. When he said, “But, can I buy some candy at least?” I realized that it wasn’t going to be easy. And as I had thought, the minute we entered the supermarket, he started whining about how he hated that place this was nothing short of vexing for me. On any other day, I would have just given him a treat and done my work; however, today I took a stand and stopped responding to his behavior. After a few minutes the silent treatment worked, he occupied himself with something, and I returned home with a smile.
Day 2: Optimism is key
I woke up on a warm Saturday dreading the horrible show of tantrums I would have to face. But, I remember reading a book in which said, “When you label your child, make sure it’s something positive.”
When my son complained about how he couldn’t find his toy train, I told him that he was good at building and that he should try to play with his Lego toys. He screamed at me and walked away. But then after a while, he comes to me with a little house he made with Lego blocks.
I told him he did a fantastic job and helped him find his toy train and the day was unusually peaceful.
Day 3: Be a good example
While I was washing the dishes, my son came up to me with a little drawing. I told him he did an excellent job and asked him where he learned it. He told me that he had learned it from me and I realized that kids learn a lot from their parents. I needed to change my behavior along with that of my children.
I do nag them a lot especially during the morning madness. I keep rushing them to find their things faster, and I complain about their whining. So, I decided that I should be more patient with them and be a better role model.
Day 4: Consistency
Many mothers handle their children’s outbursts depending on their mood. This is completely wrong; there is no room for such variability. Make your expectations clear and be consistent. I followed this little technique I learned from a friend of mine.
Green vegetables in dinner are a recipe for disaster in my house. Yet from time to time I have to feed him broccoli or spinach, well let’s just say every time it was tried it didn’t go well (understatement!). My son kept telling me how indigestible greens are, and I kept telling my son that what he gets is what he gets. I tried it every time he complained, and he kept getting irritated. For the fourth time that day, he stopped me midway and said, “I know I know” and ate his meal without complaining. Although he still got irritated, his behavior definitely improved.
Day 5: Chill out
After the hard work you’ve put in, you might want some rest. If you think that the chill out days are behind you just because you are a mom now, let me break it you – nothing is impossible, you just need to find a way around things. My chillaxing mantra is packing a nice picnic lunch and taking my son to the park. Where he plays with other children and I get to indulge in my favorite hobby – READING, he plays with our dog, and I spend the afternoon reading and just watching the beautiful day pass by.
There was no whining, fighting or shouting. Best day of the week, so far.
Long story short
Children evolve as each day goes by and it’s our duty to keep ourselves involved in their changes. We need to be able to adapt to their changes and change our ways of getting them to behave with time. I might need to revise these few steps as my son gets older but for now, they’re quite effective, and they have proved to be extremely beneficial in paving the way for good behavior. Try them out and you’ll find you have a new child in five days – Good Luck!